


so. twitter.

by sunflowrly



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Humour, IronDad and SpiderSon, Irondad, Michelle Jones makes a mistake, Oh yes, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Mess, Platonic feels, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, SO, So does Peter, Social Media, Social Media AU, Social Media Fic, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark/Blueberries - Freeform, Twitter, Twitter Fic, an active one, and has good spelling, because spidey is parker and vice versa, because there will be slang, but - Freeform, but it's regularly updated, but like, but no stony or starkner, except for the slang, for now, i can't believe that's a tag, i have motivation, i may add steve/bucky later?, i'm in quarantine and i'm bored, if i add them at all?, if you like starkner do not read this, no romance yet, not really spideyparker, okay?, peter accidentally thirst tweets himself, spiderson, that's pretty much it, there's that, this is non starkner-friendly, uhh yeah, warning for this is probably bad, we'll see how long i can keep it up, yeah - Freeform, yes another twitter fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29011845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowrly/pseuds/sunflowrly
Summary: peter may have done something stupid.spooderboi - @callmespidermani've been told not to do this, so here i amlike, really stupid.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Spider-Man - Relationship, Spider-Man/Peter Parker - Relationship, Tony Stark/Blueberries
Comments: 12
Kudos: 162
Collections: Irondad_and_Spideyson





	1. an impostor? i think not

**Author's Note:**

> this fandom definetely needed another twitter fic. but whatever, i was bored.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spider-man joins twitter.  
> the internet is suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fandom definetely needed another twitter fic. but whatever, i was bored.

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

your friendly neighborhood spider-man :)

0 followers | 1 following

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

i've been told not to do this, so here i am

**simping for shrek - @unhayz**

great, another "spiderman" fake

**Fortnite Rocks - @gamrbro455**

replying to @unhayz lmao yeah

**girlsrhot - @locallesbian**

we'll see if this one's actually spider-man

**You know who I am - @tonystark**

replying to @callmespiderman didn't i just tell you _not_ to do this?

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

replying to @tonystark y-yes?

**You know who I am - @tonystark**

replying to @callmespiderman ...

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

replying to @tonystark sorry mr. stark

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

replying to @tonystark but since i already have it can i keep it?

**You know who I am - @tonystark**

replying to @callmespiderman yeah, fine kid. just don't do anything stupid

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

replying to @tonystark YESSSSSSS

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

replying to @tonystark thank you mr. stark

**You know who I am - @tonystark**

replying to @callmespiderman you're welcome kid

**simping for shrek - @unhayz**

and i oop-

**TRENDING | 4:36 PM**

#irondad - 245,423 tweets

#spiderman - 117,694 tweets

#spiderman - 45,895 tweets


	2. why should we trust you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter the intern makes his debut.
> 
> naturally, everyone goes batshit crazy.

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

tony stank's personal intern. call me p

4 followers | 0 following

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

we'll see how long i can do this before mr. stark notices

**not functional - @freddiemercfan**

replying to @starkintern are you for real about being stark's intern?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @freddiemercfan yeah

**two beds tuesday - @polkadots**

@starkintern why should we trust you?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @polkadots you probably shouldn't

**two beds tuesday - @polkadots**

replying to @starkintern valid, have a nice day

**internet goes brrrr - @zapzapzap8377**

guys, this isnt real. i worked at stark industries, but the big guy doesnt have an intern

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @zapzapzap8377 *didn't used to

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @starkintern he has me now.

**not functional - @freddiemercfan**

that's not ominous at all.

**TRENDING | 5:12 PM**

#starkintern - 78,511 tweets

#the horse is out of the hospital - 45,478 tweets

#its snowing in oregon - 26,185 tweets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to mention. this is non-canon compliant. why? canon sucks.
> 
> basically, forget endgame and infinity war and anything after that ever happened.


	3. full time tony stank exposer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tony stank.  
> chaos ensues.

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

tony stank's personal intern. call me p

he/him

257 followers | 0 following

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

guess what day it is

**lightning mcqueen and tow mater were in love - @nascarboi**

replying to @starkintern thursday?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @nascarboi wrong

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

it's blueberry day

**table lamp - @blep**

replying to @starkintern Who invented this?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @blep tony stank

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

[Image of Tony, sprawled on a couch with a blanket over him, DUM-E nearby. There are countless cartons of blueberries on the floor next to him. Tony appears to be sleeping.]

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @starkintern he didn't sleep for 46 hours, ate 15 cartons of blueberries, and then passed out

**table lamp - @blep**

I just reverse-searched this image and?? It's not anywhere else?? This guy is the real deal??

**AM SHOOKETH - @ironmanstan4993**

replying to @blep whAT

**AM SHOOKETH - @ironmanstan4993**

replying to @blep WAIT YOU'RE RIGHT

**uwu - @glitter393976**

so- who is this kid?

**uwu - @glitter393976**

replying to glitter393976 if he (or she) is even a kid at all?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

i'm p, i work part-time as tony stark's personal intern, full-time tony stank exposer

**hYdRaTiOn - @waterbottol**

asjfklsdjlksdfjdlsk tony stank

**glitter kat go nYOOM - @dreamsmp948382**

this is the content i didnt know i needed until now

**TRENDING | 8:28 PM**

#irondad - 365,441 tweets

#starkintern - 163,458 tweets

#spiderman - 67,204 tweets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look at me being productive
> 
> also this is mostly just me writing random stuff. it has no plot. prepare for chaos


	4. i'm sorry he what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the webshooter incident.  
> it's probably not the type of incident you're thinking of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: edited all previous chapters on 1/27/20 (chapters one through three) to be consistent with my new formatting

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

tony stank's personal intern. call me p

he/him

102,235 followers | 0 following

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

note for future reference: do not put the webshooters anywhere near tony's coffee

**diskowrd - @lalalawhatever**

i'm sorry _what_

**it's the same thing - @tomatotomahto**

@starkintern you work with spiderman??

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @tomatotomahto yeah!! mr. stark made his suit and it all went downhill from there

**star wors - @pewpewbAM**

do you know who he is or what he looks like?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @pewpewbAM nope his identity is a v big secret

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @pewpewbAM he swings into my lab in the middle of the night, drops broken stuff off, and then skedaddles

**star wors - @pewpewbAM**

replying to @starkintern asjfkdfksl really??

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @pewpewbAM yeah it's weird, the first time it happened mr. stark was just like "it's fine kid he does this"

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @starkintern and i was like "who, mr. stark?"

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @starkintern and he looks at me and he goes "spider-man"

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @starkintern and i was like :OO

**catboi uwuwu - @thatonekid**

@starkintern how old are you?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @thatonekid i can't specify but i'm a high schooler :)

**catboi uwuwu - @thatonekid**

replying to @starkintern how did you even meet tony stark then??

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @thatonekid he broke into my house lmao

**catboi uwuwu - @thatonekid**

replying to @starkintern sorry what

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @thatonekid yeah pretty much

**TRENDING | 7:21 AM**

#starkintern - 128,453 tweets

#webshooters - 87,446 tweets

#tonystank - 64,153 tweets

#politics - 54,564 tweets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm actually having a lot of fun with this so  
> will probably be updated daily or multiple times a day  
> at least while i have motivation  
> feel free to request stuff/characters you want to see  
> or just random twitter handles tbh


	5. 👀

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wait spiderman??

**spiderman thirst tweets - @ethompson**

i'm straight

but like. spiderman's butt

call me flash

7,452 followers | 0 following

**spiderman thirst tweets - @ethompson**

i'm straight but have you _seen_ spiderman

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

replying to @ethompson i'm sorry what

**spiderman thirst tweets - @ethompson**

replying to @starkintern did i stutter? i said spiderman is hot

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

replying to @ethompson i-

**spiderman thirst tweets - @ethompson**

replying to @callmespiderman wait _spiderman??_

**TRENDING | 12:46 PM**

#starkintern - 75,422 tweets

#andifyoucloseyoureyes - 45,548 tweets

#tiktok - 23,447 tweets

#thirsttweet - 17,985 tweets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀👀👀
> 
> yes it's who you think it is  
> this chapter was unusually short  
> expect more :))


	6. not an update :))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for tony/peter and adult/minor shipping  
> this is not a real chapter, it is a response to some guy

it has come to my attention that a petty starker (tony stark/peter parker) shipper commented on my fic saying they were "rubbing their little starker hands all over it"

honestly dude, you need to get a life.

i can't imagine how you went from "this guy asked me not to read their story because i ship an adult with a minor" to "let's post anon hate"

like.

you posted a paragraph long thing about how i was weak for asking paedophiles not to read my story.

i can't imagine how bored you must be.

if you ship starker, get outta here :))

fuck you.

sincerely, the author

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))


	7. enemies to lovers au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter may have made an even stupider mistake.  
> mj also made a mistake.  
> peter's mistake was stupider.

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

your friendly neighborhood spider-man :)

1,459,215 followers | 0 following

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

[A video of Spider-Man swinging inbetween buildings in New York at a shockingly fast speed. The video cuts to black, then cuts to a shaky video of what seems to be sunrise in New York, as seen from the top of Stark Tower. Text appears on the screen, reading: "The roof of Stark Tower, 7:38 AM. Video recorded by the Spidersuit". The text disappears. Someone behind the camera takes a deep breath, then launches themself over the side of the Tower. Just as quickly, a red-and-blue spandex-clad arm appears in the frame and does the signature webshooter move, pulling both Spider-man and the camera up. The wind is loud as we're shown Spider-man going between buildings using his webs.]

**spooderboi - @callmespiderman**

replying to @callmespiderman just a regular saturday morning :)

**i just wanna talk - @sharkysharks**

replying to @callmespiderman DANG

**mj - @letsstartariot**

replying to @callmespiderman nice.

**meem time - @dankfrog**

replying to @callmespiderman this guy-

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

lowkey wishing spider-man was my bf right now. can you imagine how jacked he must be??

**destiel - @thatsgaymydude**

replying to @starkintern same tho

**doodlinq - @seadoodles**

replying to @starkintern aren't we all

**eightbit - @thehawaii**

replying to @starkintern p knows whats up

**mj - @letsstartariot**

replying to @starkintern peter did you ask FRIDAY to tweet for you again?

**p(rone to blowing things up) - @starkintern**

MJ LOOK AT THAT TWEET ONE MORE TIME

**alex - @bnhallinan**

replying to @letsstartariot his name is peter??

**so you know that one ad? - @radioactivepotato**

replying to @bnhallinan name reveal o.o

**d o i n k - @cdoink**

replying to @radioactivepotato wait is tony stark's intern thirsting after spider-man

**need coffee - @depresso espresso**

replying to @cdoink strangers to lovers au

**archive of our grape juiec - @hermkinator**

replying to @depressoespresso and @cdoink 500k slowburn

**theonlyvalidonEEEE - @mememememe**

replying to @depressoespresso, @cdoink, @hermkinator all fluff and awkward feels

**spiderman thirst tweets - @ethompson**

replying to @mememememe yessss

**TRENDING | 3:27 PM**

#peter - 45,848 tweets

#spideyparker - 24,486 tweets

#namereveal - 16,547 tweets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *plays fake fanfare on a kazoo*  
> welp there's your bi-daily update  
> longer than normal so i'm pretty proud  
> look at it tho  
> look at how bad  
> look at the non-existant plot and the terrible characterization!  
> have fun guys

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter was short. oh well. i'll be posting more as the day goes on.
> 
> more characters will be introduced in the next chapter :)


End file.
